My youngest daughter recently turned 2, meaning she is officially able to have screen time according to our Pediatrician. This has got me thinking a lot about screen time and children, as well as doing a lot of reading on the subject. Despite what you see/read in mommy groups, the American Academy of Pediatrics has actually removed their screen time limit guidelines. Instead of providing recommended amounts of time for kids, they recommend setting “boundaries and guidelines” (see their stance here).
It's also important to recognize the changing landscape regarding social media, the dangers associated with it, and the increasing prevalence of social media and its impacts on mental health. Read more about these issues here in this wonderful post from The Lanier Law Firm.
As I have worked to consider what this means for my own children and family, I have come up with 5 practical tips you can use as you consider the same:
Analyze your own screen time
Monitor what your kids are watching
Set family rules/guidelines
Create a predictable schedule
Be conscious of what you’re using for screen time - make it count
Alright, let’s get started with my tips for how to set boundaries and guidelines for screen time with your children!
1. Analyze your own screen time
As a parent and an educator, I strongly believe that we have to model for our kids what we want them to do. I do not think we should ever ask our children to do something we are not willing to do ourselves. In other words, I do not believe in telling my children they have to limit their screen time while I sit mindlessly scrolling on my cell phone. Therefore, the first step in setting boundaries and guidelines around screen time is to analyze your own screen use.
The concept of addiction to screens is one I have encountered several times while researching screen time. I definitely think I have fallen into this at times. I sometimes catch myself picking up my phone for no particular reason. If we are going to ask our children to limit screen time, we must also be willing to do the same for ourselves.
Plus, having everyone put down their screens will result in more time and memories as a family. You won’t remember what you saw while scrolling tonight, but you will remember laughing with your kids. For ideas of things to do with your family, see my other blog posts.
2. Monitor what your kids are watching
As an educator, I cannot tell you how many times I have had to call parents to let them know about something inappropriate their child was saying or doing as a result of something they saw on a device. Most of the time, parents had absolutely no idea their children had seen or interacted with that inappropriate content. I have even seen issues pop up from seemingly innocent things. For example, I had one child who was exposed to sexually explicit content through the chat feature in Minecraft. It had never occurred to their parents to monitor a game that was otherwise innocent.
It is absolutely vital that you know what your children are seeing and interacting with online. I will also say to not blindly trust apps and settings that promise parental controls. These are definitely misleading and lots of stuff gets by them.
While I definitely believe children should have some autonomy and privacy as they develop who they are, I do not think this should apply to technology. There is way too much out there that can have a huge impact on our kids.
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3. Set family rules/guidelines for screen time
Once you’ve analyzed your own use of screen time and committed to monitoring your child's use, it’s time to start thinking through what you ideally want that to look like for your family. Do you want to reduce how much time you all spend in front of screens? Do you want to be really clear on when and why you use screens? Or is it that you want a set time after which you put all screens away?
Our Rules/Guidelines
For my family, we decided we wanted to reduce the amount of time we were on screens and commit to spending more quality time together. Far too often we would end up all mindlessly staring at screens instead of engaging with one another. Therefore, we created two guidelines that we now live by. The first is that anyone, including our kids, can call one another out for being on their screen too much. As such, the person getting called out needs to listen and not get offended. Our 11 year old daughter has enjoyed this one. She often calls us out and I am grateful to her for keeping us accountable.
The second guideline we have is to put screens away at a set time. This one has admittedly been a little trickier since we want to do it an hour before bedtime, but our toddler goes to bed much earlier than our 11-year-old. The best way we’ve found to balance this is to extend the bathtime routine for our toddler and have us all take turns with it. This gives her quality time with each of us and allows us to fully engage with her without a screen. For our oldest daughter, we have committed to turning off all screens at 8pm and either read our own books, or play a game together.
4. Create a predictable schedule
It is important to know that if you are adding new rules/guidelines to screen time, it’s possible your children will have a hard time with the change at first. This is because it is unexpected. Kids struggle to handle changes, especially if they don’t know it’s coming. Not having a clear plan in place will result in lots of tears and yelling. Therefore, it’s important to make things as predictable and clear as possible.
Once you have your new rules/guidelines in place, consider how you will communicate and track them. For example, if your goal is to reduce the amount of time on screens and you decide that everyone gets X amount of time, consider how you will track it. Will you set a timer or make it a set time in the day? When it comes to younger kids, it’s better to have some sort of visual. This could be a visual timer like this one, or a visual schedule. I really like the visual schedule Playgarden Prep provides in their welcome email.
Regardless of how you decide to go about this, the most important thing is to make it clear and predictable for kids.
5. Be conscious of what you’re using for screen time - make it count
The final tip I have when it comes to screen time is to make sure whatever you are choosing to let your child interact with is of high quality. As much as I love Ms. Rachel and Aprende Peque (the Spanish version of Ms. Rachel), sometimes I just can’t bring myself to watch these shows.
I have recently discovered Playgarden Prep Online and am absolutely in love. They have so many videos, lessons, and activities that you’ll never be short on things for your child to do with or without the screen. Plus, my kid absolutely loves it! All of their content is so fun and engaging, as well as educational. It’s the perfect high-quality screen time that I also feel like helps me be a better parent. Check them out today!
Let's Wrap It Up
In conclusion, when it comes to screen time and your kids, it’s important to be intentional with all of it. Reflect on your own use and create guidelines and a predictable schedule everyone can abide by. Finally, make sure whatever you do have on a screen is purposeful and of high quality.
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I originally wrote this post for my blog The Simplified Parent. You can learn more and find more great ideas at thesimplifiedparent.com
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